Dad’s back to work! Time to blog.

A baby’s naptime is definitely a gift from God. Like seriously… something that keeps mothers sane. The tiny bit of your day when you can actually be productive or drink your coffee in peace. Of course I love when Harper is up and playing, but nap time rules! Even if it comes after an hour of whining.

An update on weaning: night two went MUCH better! Harper and I cuddled on the couch and she watched me play our new fun wheel of fortune game on my phone, and then… she turned the other way and went to sleep! It was amazing! She rarely ever goes to sleep on her own. I could get used to that… This past weekend, there was a day or two that we played outside and had company over to distract her from nursing. Still, after night one I was not feeling good about the whole thing. I don’t like people telling me what to do. And I felt bitter towards the pediatrician for saying I should stop. And plus being engorged isn’t fun! But I read weaning should be a process, not an event. You can’t just stop cold turkey, obviously. Plus it’s detrimental for women to do that, with immediate hormone levels dropping, blocked ducts, and all that (oh boy, sorry Kyle). The article I read says last feedings to cut out are in the morning and at night…but not after you brush teeth! So many rules. Anyway, it’s always whatever works best for your own family and life, just like everything else. Now we’re back on our own this week, with no one else to distract her, so it’s not as easy. We will get there.

As far as the excema, we were given a prescription for this oil, and that seems to be working wonderfully! I’m so glad. We did switch to drinking almond milk and limiting dairy, but it seems impossible to cut it out completely. If it was a huge health issue, like she was allergic, we would obviously do it, but this seems to working just fine. And if she stops nursing, I can still have all the dairy I want! No dairy and no nursing in the same week….rough!

My pescetarian cooking is going great! We’ve enjoyed fish tacos, vegetable pasta, mushroom lasagna, cheese and jam sandwich, hearty salads, and more. It’s fun to cook fresh foods and not get that overly full feeling. I’m almost done craving desserts after dinner too, and already back down to my goal/normal weight. Haven’t added exercise into my regimen yet, that’s next, but I figure my workout has come from the gardening I’ve done!

That’s all for now. Guess I need to try to take better advantage of this nap time.

Night One.

This is the most heart wrenching thing I’ve ever had to do. Stopping nursing this far in is SO hard. It’s like our last physical connection, forced to be broken. A bond we share, soon to be gone and forgotten. That need for me, no more. Ill always be her Mama, and she’ll need me, but not like that. Attachment parenting encourages baby led weaning, and I know why..it’s miserable for them. Her soothing mechanism being taken away. That’s why I haven’t done it. Why go through this if it’s just fine the other way? I definitely see how some moms go into the toddler years. So, why now then? Why make my baby scream through the night for something she wants, that’s right there so easy for me to give? Well, writing this has already made me feel a little better. Because although I’m so sad for me and for her, I know it’s for the better. For both of us to become more independent. For her not to have to be dependent on me, but herself. To give ME time, a little break before the next. We can be out shopping longer. Mommy and daddy can have their own bed back, together. She will eventually have sleepovers and things like that. This is an early rite of passage, that will soon lead to better things. But tonight, we’re just going to cry.

Twenty-three.

I don’t blog enough! I feel like I never have enough free time to sit around and write, leisurely. Today wraps up Kyle’s week off work, at home. Our “staycation” as I called it. I pictured us having a lot more done by the end of this week, but “it is what it is.” Maybe we can still be productive these next two days. We did do a lot though, trying to fix up the backyard. So far we: built a fire pit, built a raised bed for my vegetable garden, in process of getting Harper’s new swing-set put together, got topsoil delivered to fill garden and low places in yard, bought flowers for island flower bed, got four new adirondack chairs for around fire pit, and a few more things. Still need to: finish planting flowers (it got cold and wet out), dig pathway around fire pit and fill with rock, lay grass seed and straw, clean out garage, steam clean carpets inside. Ok so he may need to take another week off! Luckily the weather is usually nice outside so we’ll get it done. I personally got LESS done, like inside, with Kyle being here. Granted it was our birthdays, so we spent a lot of time just having fun. I had a great birthday, spending a lot of gift cards I got for Christmas. Although, Harper racked up more than both of us. She always does! Kyle’s main present from me was concert tickets for The Black Keys, so he will be enjoying that in a couple weeks. So, we went shopping one whole day. We visited the Zoo the next day, and so did every other elementary school kid on field trips, so it was pretty busy! The fish tacos afterwards at Chile Burrito were superb. Kyle always eats at the one in Brentwood, so glad I got to try it out! And toward the end of the week Cooper and Harper both had check-up appointments at the doctor, so I took them there. Both had to get shots! I must say, Cooper did much better with his. He was a total champ and so calm and sweet during his visit. Harper is starting to not like her pediatrician as much. Who likes to be poked and prodded and given shots?? We’ll both be glad when the visits are less frequent. She does have excema though, so we got a script for that. It’s also recommended that she not eat any dairy, to see if that helps. Ok if you’ve ever tried to not eat dairy, it’s very hard! I obviously can’t eat it either, b/c she still nurses some. And we’ve accidentally still had it every day this week. So starting tomorrow…officially no dairy!! I’ve also decided to go without meat, officially starting on my birthday, because it’s been something I’ve wanted to do for a while. Watch a few documentaries on Netflix about the treatment of animals we eat and how much better just eating fruits and vegetables is for your body, and you may start to feel the same way. Or not, like most people. It’s easier to not think about it and eat what you want. I’ve tried to go vegetarian several times since I’ve known Kyle, and always end up just forgetting and eating something with meat. However, I’m still eating fish and seafood, so I guess I’d be considered a “pescetarian.” Right now, I’m currently fished out. I’ve eaten it like every day this week. Excited to go the grocery and get some yummy fruits and vegetables to eat! While I’m having to change my eating habits, I figure this is a great time to get in shape for bikini season, why not go all out, and cut the sweets and excessive snacking too. I normally eat what I want, ALL day, constantly eating. And you may say..you’re skinny, you can do that… but it’s finally starting to catch up with me. I’m an all-or-nothing type person. So, “desserts in moderation” does not work with me. One cookie turns into 10. So no cookies here! Basically.. I’m almost on a vegan, whole foods, light on sugar and white flour, diet. For now….. Sheesh! Now if I can add some workouts in there, I’ll be set. Seeing the end results is what it’s all about. My new favorite quote is “fat lasts longer than flavor.” I don’t see it as all the food I’m giving up, I see it as a diet of mostly fruits and vegetables, which is yummy. That really should be everyone’s ultimate goal, but especially in this society, it’s awfully hard! Don’t worry… I get plenty of protein and calcium from almond milk, beans, etc.

The other obstacle I’m facing is weaning Harper from breastfeeding. We’ve read it’s very beneficial to babies until 2 years of age. So take your negative, close-minded American judgements elsewhere if you don’t think it’s okay.. but obviously it’s been my goal all year to stop..eventually. I just wanted to last until 9 months. And then a year came. And now 15 months. That’s great. When you get this far, it is NOT easy to stop. It’s so much easier to just do it. I planned on her weaning herself during my next pregnancy, but that didn’t happen. Now, with her getting a lot of teeth, it’s detrimental to them to nurse at night, once she’s brushed her teeth. It can cause rotting. Life would just be easier on both of us if she was not reliant on it, so yeah.. hopefully it’s an easy transition. As I sit her typing, she’s asleep in my arms. Without nursing!! I just haven’t put her to bed yet, but I feel very accomplished for our first night. Kyle was worn out, and went to bed a little early, so I figured it’d be challenging to get her to sleep. Proud of myself! Well, this about sums up our week!! I’ll definitely have to add some pictures of everything when it’s done. We’ve enjoyed this time together, and I always enjoy when Kyle can stay home and see what I do all day.

Crazy, sad week for America. Praying for the people in Boston, Texas, and Hendersonville who lost loved ones or were injured. As I was glued to the TV today, waiting for them to catch the bad guy, I couldn’t help but imagine how anxious those involved were. Waiting for police to capture the man–who killed THEIR son, who caused them to LOSE both their legs, who terrorized an entire city and made Ivy league schools and transit systems shut down. The people who went to watch a marathon, or went to work that morning, and never made it home. It happened there, loss happens every day, here. But there are MORE GOOD people than evil, and better things beyond this sinful Earth. Look for the good. Enjoy the small things. Cherish your loved ones.

Goodnight!